In point form: List of Girl habits that really tick us Guys off.

1 day and 17 hours ago
http://www.dearjehovah.wordpress.com
Girls can be such an annoying
bunch at times-well if not all
the time. The following is a list
of some of the things that
make them such a bunch, here
goes:
They all claim to be beautiful
Being not so beautiful,
especially facially is one of the
human condition’s most cruel
occurrences. Yes through the
aid of advancements in
cosmetic surgery it is now
possible to change your
features, enhance them if you
so wish such that one is able
to get more pronounced
buttocks, a well proportioned
nose, small or big hips or what
is ones fancy. Some like the
South African singer/artist
Mshoza have gone so far that I
doubt their own mother and
father recognise them
anymore. The girl bleached
her poor black skin until them
poor pigments yielded and the
body chased father Cush’s gift
out of her system. The end
result: a white looking who
seems out of place in her own
body…Oh and she seems
unable to divorce her makeup
artists and their kits.
Mshoza, I liked you better
when you had the pigment
father Cush gave us. I know
you are not alone, as such I
will go on and not leave out
the little female-and maybe
male- Mshozas out there. Your
Kekesies and all them horrible
bleachy face creams will not
help make you any more
beautiful than you either tell
yourselves and feel.
Rather stick to working at
that well conditioned, cool
apartment store down the
corner…All will be well; you
will get a good well balanced
complexion that does not just
end with the face and front of
ear but actually goes down all
over that good looking body of
yours to cover not only them
legs but those toy-toying toes
of yours crowning the feet.
Oh and if you think you
beautiful, why is it then that
you seem never to cease
crowding all those beauty
boutiques and shops crowding
the suburbs? And why do you
like the beauty magazines so
much.
One last question; why is it
that 80% of those who suffer
bulimia and its cousin
psychological challenges are
you, skinny otherwise
beautiful girls who happen to
think their mirror is playing
tricks on them?
Beauty is what you think and
how you feel about yourself.
To feel beautiful or even to
have it not matter you ought
to cultivate your talents.
Learn new skills and be so
good that you can even earn
money from them. I would like
a girl who’s got all the right
moves and can apply them in
all the right places but things
like a good education, good
driving skills and well learnt
and applied money moves are
far more sexier than all them
skinny jeans and sexy thighs
put together.
We no longer know their hair
One of my personal major turn
offs is the wick. The fake hair
women of this day and age
seem so determined to wear,
adapt, restyle and develop and
wear again till the Lord comes
again. Are we ever to see the
African hair: the Afro of yester
year in all her glory? And
what is wrong with good old
blue Afrikaner girl eyes
complimented by blond
straight if not ashen hair?
Black or white we all cry for
one thing these days: bring
back the all natural African
and European hair, we love
the thrill it gives us when you
let us play around with it…Pull
it and all. You can never hope
to fool around with a lady
friend’s wick, let alone pull it.
Never!
Oh one more thing, these
wicks stink man, I would
rather have you with no hair
at all than these things.
If we love you with your PMPS,
what then is to stop us loving
you without those wicks and
extensions?
The hugs
Ok, we all like hugs. They are
nice, they remind us that we
are human, we are also
lovable and we also have that
squishy warm fuzzy feeling
that comes with hugs. But too
much of a thing is dangerous
and hugs are no exception.
You girls love hugging; a guy is
happy, you give him a hug, a
guy is sad; you give a hug, he
is angry and out of touch you
offer a hug, he meets another
guy; you expect ‘em to
hug…Enough of them already.
A good hug once a while is
good enough but you can’t go
around hugging me all them
and all over the place. And
please do not:
-Hug me when I am angry at
someone (especially you). I
want you near me, yes, but
not that near. I do not want to
hurt you.
-Hug me when I am hungry. A
good ‘hallow sweety, how was
work?’ is fine but a plate of
good home cooked meal is
much better than anything
else.
-Hug me after the deed. A hug
after sex is very confusing to
some if not all of us. Are you
saying thank you for the great
session or are saying that you
love me but my sex
performance is so bad that you
see it fit to comfort me instead
of hating for wasting your
time and soiling your well
preserved cooky jar?
-Hug your boy if not pastor
friend breast and all touching
with me around. I do not want
to be arrested for murder but I
will if you so disrespect me
this way. Stand very much far
away, extend your hand and
shake pastor friend hands if
he so insist on body contact.
Do this and we will avoid all
things bloody and gruesome
my dear love.
-Hug without breasts pads. No
offence intended but if you
are the hugging type and you
are pregnant please be sure
NOT to forget your breast
pads. I am not the father of
the baby; you need not punish
me for another devil’s sins!
The ‘Devil at the counter’
ladies.We know getting work
affords you confidence and we
know that one who works with
a lot of people cannot afford
not being assertive but please
do use it all the time. Some of
us really do not deserve the
hate you give us. Go on doing
this and I will ask for your
manager, do not blame me.
The makeup.
We all love a good
make up (even boys I
hear) but what is up
with this tipoko
(ghosts) we so
frequently have to
confront on a daily
bases this days? Girls
apply so much mud on
their poor faces that
they cannot even
afford the mistake of
smiling. You greet the
poor face and it just
looks at you-as if it
just got itself a botox
injection. The heart is
screaming ‘Hi’ and
every other
compliment that
comes with the word
but poor girl cannot
afford to carless
express herself for
should she ever be so
bold her mud will fall
away from the face
she
so laboriously enhanced
for you. You don’t
want the results of
that on your
conscious.
The skinny jeans
Ahhh! All hail the devil of all
devils who gave us such a
treat. There is nothing like a
confident well mannered lady
in them skinny jeans and a
pair of nice red little numbers
for shoes. Oh dear. There is
definitely something amiss
with a woman in skinny jeans
on stilettos: they change
them. Some ugly duckling on
average, every day shoe
suddenly blossom into this
beautiful, attractive, assertive,
confident, sexy women you
cannot help but yield your will
to.
As is in all things,
unfortunately, there are some
females who simply wear this
blessing all wrong and spoil
the whole thing-for everyone.
You see, most skinny jeans are
low cut designee trousers on
the other hand; most African
girls are quite well endowed
when it comes to shape and
curves at the right places.
Unfortunately the above
mentioned two gifts
sometimes just do not mix
well. Poor sisters love them
skinny jeans so much that
they at times do not seem to
consider their ‘reverse gift’
when wearing them. So long
as the front is covered, what is
at the rear can peep over the
belt and see the world all it
likes. Oh the things we see!
Oh and to them white girls:
please be sure your skinny
jeans hug your ‘door like back
side’ before you dare leave the
mirror and go out the door. We
love your legs but some of us
man are not so sure we will
not pity trouser when they try
to hold on for dear life all day
long-especially when you
climbing up to somewhere.
Your dress or skirt is a safe
bet, it is modest (well some of
them), fashionable and
timeless in nature. No lady
friend can ever go wrong with
those. Use them: you are the
only creature on earth built
well enough to rock ‘em hands
down.
Show off str*+_+ch marks.
Eghmm! Ladys, these story
lines are sexy but not all the
time. Please be sure to wear
under coats sexy enough to
cover them and enhance your
over all outfit all at once. Oh
and do not worry, you can rock
them up when we in bed or
just playing round somewhere
romantic: they are a huge turn
on there my love. So long as
you allow me to play with
them.
They all want to be skinny.
Go all ‘skinny diety’ on my
watch you will see wonders. I
will sabotage the whole thing.
Feed you in your sleep if I have
to! I do not want you falling
sick and dying on me all
because you felt I like those
skinny models you envy in the
magazines. We like variety,
good old African/traditional
built Afrikaner, Indian or
mulato with a good head on
her shoulders turns most of us
on just fine. And we are not
afraid we may break any bone
here. I hear some like holding
on to something during the
deed-what this is I do not
know. Keep your body, we love
it!
I really never meant any
offence, but yeah, these
habits really tick me off at
times. For more advice on how
to dress well, please consult
your mother. Otherwise feel
free to let magazines like
Cosmopolitan tempt you into
doing all those things your
mommy did your age but
would never want you to
know about. Here’s a link
http://www.cosmopolitan.com . Go
torture your greedy heart;
enjoy!

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