The head ache born of the terms girlfriend,love and the sex contract

Of late I’ve been pondering over the idea of getting myself a girlfriend.

But before I get to commerce on the subject, I think I will have to first negotiate a number of questions;

One of them is, exactly what does the concept girlfriend mean, what does it entail? To a three and four year old this wouldn’t be hard to figure out, it simply means a girl who’s a friend, that’s all. To a fifteen year old the definition changes and gets itself charged with emotional undertones and way too many uncertainties one has to be sure of first before even considering dignifying the poor naughty question with an answer socially.

Basically, for an innocent fifteen year old, the term girlfriend means a girl who is a friend not only socially but also because of love- a concept I still find hard to understand.

The reason for such hardship in connection to love brought by this questions; what is love really? Does it have any rules, are these rules really applicable and really, is this not just a glorified form of sex contract?

I,over the benefit of not risking a head ache, decided to settle the last question by settling with what I think is the basic answer; One can never truly tell but I do think to some extent (big or small ) it a form of a sex contract  coined for the benefit of some kind, for some party at the expense of some poor party. It just so happens the terms complicate themselves when used together…or dear.

 

The answer is simple…only you have to find it on your own.

Girlfriends will have to wait for now.

,

 

 

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The illusion that is my country’s democratic freedom: Power to the people to kill themselves?

We here say that in relation to governance, democracy is the best thing that would ever happen to sovereign state.
There are number of reasons for this but the most widely cited is that it Gives Power To The People.

Gives power to the people, what do these words mean exactly? Well, effectively democracy-the word-means that “people rule”, hence the phrase: the people shall govern!
It is in principle, a state of government/ruler-ship where the power of decision making in relation the present and future of a people living as a nation is made by non other but the people themselves. From the building of toilets to the waging of wars. That is what is.
Now, I grew up under a kingdom. Effectively a born subject of non other but King Mswati 111, king of Swaziland. That given, I happen to be a South African Zulu on the merit of my father’s blood ties to the Zulu Kingdom and thus effectively my own. 20yrs down the line, South Africa is now a democracy. A beautiful one at that. Considering these things I gave myself time to watch both kingdom and democracy play out. I ended up noticing that South Africans enjoy a number of things, freedom of speech for example. Essentially it means speak your mind and the truth as you see it. Swaziland has this too. The people sit around their king in the Royal Kraal and speak their troubles as they have done since the ancients: with respect and dignity. The papers are used too and believe me such are not pretty. South Africa’s free speech is essentially more intense than Swaziland’s. The people here are radical and more to the point…Leading to my troubles. The RSA government has now proposed and is now in a process of passing an information protection bill. While Swaziland has adopted the military styled Terrorism act (a fraction of the subjects and some foreigners hate the Kingship). Political parties are banned in Swaziland (obviously) while some democratic countries use Freedom of Speech limiting laws to stifle if not ban opposition parties. America is one good example of this. While it is publicly accepted that they (Americans) have Freedom of Expression, it is essentially not all of them. The American First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution says Congress shall make no law limiting the freedom of speech, or the press…(www.lincoln.edu/criminaljustice/hr/Speech.htm). The law is clear at first glance but a number of years down the law history line we find the Parker vs.. Levi 1974 linked amendment. Here an American soldier made a public appeal against the army, urging black Americans not to be involved in the Vietnam war because America was wrong to get itself involved. All these happened because he had refused to train medics who were to go to Vietnam based on his ethics as a medical doctor. This led to the US government limiting military personnel’s Freedom of Expression.

 

Now how is it that a country thought to be liberal and free as is America comes to have limiting laws on some of its citizens; the military? Well the usual reason is that there is a need to protect the health of the military and thus that of the country. Medal of Honor creators are said to have bridged this need in their use of an ex-Afghanistan participating soldier in some details of the game. Mr.. Snowden, a former CIA officer is on the run from the US because he revealed the US’ spying games on foreign governments and even on its own people.

Mean while, my people the Swazi are now faced with a very displeasing future. The country will, as of January 2015, be removed from America’s AGOA free trade beneficiary program; rendering more than 60% of the country’s working class jobless, hungry, deprived of education and very much at odds with not only the Prime Minister but the king himself. Very nice recipe for a civil war don’t you think? Oh and it is working.

 

As far as I am concerned, my country is dying for nothing. Democracy as is advertised and marketed by the USA is nice on the books but it is not what makes a country and its people happy and secure in their dreams, liberties, abilities, efforts and securities. Neither is it Socialism, Capitalism, Monarchy, Caliphate or even Communism. It is rather the motivations, aspirations, morals, and judgments of the people in power. The passengers can only tell the bus driver where, how, why and how fast they want to go. It is up to the bus driver to decide weather, how, why and when will he carry out the passengers’ wishes.

 

Funny how the more things change the more they stay the same, isn’t it?

The illusion of power, Oh dear!  

 

South Africans often look down on my country of birth. They despise the idea of one man ruling the whole country. Most make the mistake of equating King Mswati’s rule to that of ruthless, heartless and greedy dictator whose heart is bent on serving himself and no one else but himself and his family. They equate him to the Apartheid regime where we the blacks mattered only to till the soils and sow the fields. We were no people then but serfs if not slaves to the master on a black horse; subhuman.

That’s what they compare Swaziland to. They are entitled to their own opinion-pristine or rubbish-but as far as I am concerned the Swaziland I grew up in the past 22years is far better than this South Africa my poor children might find themselves growing up in. A country of uncertainty and pain all day every day, a country so at odds with itself to the point of it being a cancer to itself. This people are dying: crime is on the rise and happens every day, we murder each other gruesomely, we rape ourselves-even our grandmothers viciously and kill them off in cold blood. It’s all a bloody scene and it the scariest part is that it is all becoming altogether too normal…water under the bridge. Even our roads have turned to blood-rivers, you may ignore it all you like but fear is everywhere here, such that even hopping on a bus to town or shutting your eyes to sleep is a risk ridden affaire. Oh and politics are now corrupted by business, Marikana and Lonmin 2012 saga is the latest most gruesome of all examples of this. Zuma, my president, Shabire Shaike and the Arms deal all bring my point closer to home; messy business man playing around with my peoples’ hopes, blood and sweat. Politicking their way off to the cheese cake that is government sit and drive us to this cliff we-most of us anyways- do not see.

I am not saying Zuma is killing the country. I am rather saying he is watching it die for the sake of power to the people. It is not proper governance that comes first here. It is first fame then governance. The choices   you make as president in this country seem to directly translate to more elections chances in the party’s favor…more power to them dear and that’s it, literally.

Is this the democracy our fathers and brothers fought for? Is this the freedom my great grand fathers and all the other Zulu Chiefs and their numerous kings fought and died for? Is this the freedom the Dutch and French of old South Africa in their purest of hearts wanted for the present day hate free born Afrikaner? The freedom murder, still and marginalize the meek? Jungle Africa the state of weak law enforcement, a country under siege, not free at all!

 

Again I say:

 As far as I am concerned, my country is dying for nothing. Democracy as is advertised and marketed by the USA is nice on the books but it is not what makes a country and its people happy and secure in their dreams, liberties, abilities, efforts and securities. Neither is it Socialism, Capitalism, Monarchy, Caliphate or even Communism. It is rather the motivations, aspirations, morals, and judgments of the people in power. The passengers can only tell the bus driver where, how, why and how fast they want to go. It is up to the bus driver to decide weather, how, why and when will he carry out the passengers’ wishes.

 

Funny how the more things change the more they stay the same, isn’t it?

The illusion of power, Oh dear! We are not free at all. Just dying. And bye the way ruling parties do act like absolute monarchs sometimes.  

 

 

 

We all want money don’t we?

We all want don’t we?

Off course we do. Money is the answer, it is essential in life, the key to survival and the answer to all things. Or is it?

 

I will not lie and say it is not the answer to everything, it practically is. I was one of the hardest working students at school-all three of them. I woke up at four AM every day, read my books and did a hell of a lot of hellish math problems, my day was nothing other than a strong hard routine; and I kept it right to the letter. It was a morning study, a short shower(cold), dressing up, a little bible study-or should I say reading, check if everyone made it out of their dorm room at six AM, lock up my dorm room, sit at the dinning hall for some weak old school and milk-less tea(or was it coffee?), have a nice chat with my un-intentionally small number of friends and its off to the classrooms.

It was a grueling routine, my school mates worshiped me for it, the teachers commended it, my parents loved me for it and my siblings and cousins loathed my name and shadow for it. Oh and there was no girl lover to screw the whole thing up too.

The light at the end of the tunnel was bright, very bright. And the money was verily very much promising to come my way. It was all for it.

 

I never got to to finish college. Had no money and failed to find someone to help me out. Oh and I am told I also happened to steal 20.000 rands from my blind aunt’s clothe cupboard bank.

All in all; six and half years down the line I find myself sour bum sitting and board as a snail with my life. It is not bad, just boring.

Why? Well it is simply because even though money is not the answer to every thing, it sure can make living more than just bearable. It can make it fun, full of zest and very much worth living.

The truth is; money changes a whole of a lot of things. It changes they way you look at yourself in the mirror, you suddenly feel like you are valuable to the people who matter to you, you are happy because of that, as a result you make people happy, your halls fill up, girls gather themselves in near to this well of life you’ve become and life really isn’t so screwey any more, the addiction to sad songs and sadness itself has silently slipped itself out of your now very jolly mind.

Amazing isn’t it?

 

As evil and very elusive as all these sounds, some among us are quite known to be able chase it down and cling to it no sweat. And that’s exactly what I do not wanna hear! It sucks.

Why would I be happy to learn that some not so obedient not so hard working lanky fashionably hate-able gorilla from class was smart enough in life to be rich over night and get all them sweet and evil good looking girls I wanted? And should my lovely calmly wife so wish, could take and make a devil out of her too? How you ask? Well it is simple. The dumb kid has money; money is security…It is the answer to everything.

And most our sorry souls aint got it. Time to change Gift!