The other

My palms are sweaty

I feel as if I am swimming

I’m drowning

Every thing’s all over

I can’t feel anything…

Damn him, he’s coming

Doesn’t he ever get it;

I hate him,

He is filth


Never to be anything any where

Any how

Damn him!

My breath is deep within,

My eyes,

If I still have any,

Are fixed

My head’s swimming

I’m suffocating

Here he comes.

God; will he ever tire

I do not feel

Never will

Oh God!

She’s waiting,

Must I go to her

What am I to say

Oh how I wish I hadn’t

It’s all too much!

Look at him

He is standing there

Mouth gaping

Wild eyed


My throat

It is tired; dry!

Painfully embarrassing!


I rue the day I was born



You wasting my time

Damn him!

What am I to do now;

Must I be the one who speaks

“I… I love you”

“So what if you do!”

“I don’t know”


“What made you come anyway”


“ Love.”

“I despise that word

Especially if it is from

Somebody who’s a nobody like you.”

“Well I despise such words

From a women

We expect love and respect

Even if you do hate me

Respect me!

It’s not much to ask.”

“Look at you

You are hardly worth twenty cents

You stink, you don’t bath

Yet you profess love to me”

“At least I am being sincere

I hide not behind them fancy

Fancy clothes

Nor do I hide my eyes

You can see them

You see me for who I am.”

As if I care what he thinks,

Even if I did love him a little

How am I to present such

A thing to mother:

My father and his cattle!

You are considering

I know you are

You can’t hide such from me.

Look at him

He’s now a shrink.

Who gave him that much bravery

I wish he just fall down and die.

I am baffled

What am I to say.

She is looking at me.

Her eyes

They are too much


But full of hate

Hate mingled with fear

A spark of love

I hate myself

I am trying my best

Rather it be this way.

He’s somehow charming

No! Stop that you doing

Love or no love he’s charming



Yes my sweet heart

Did you not see it at first;

That your precious heart is mine

Mine to love to love cherish and to hold

Protect honor and nourish

Did you not see that it can overcome

That your minding

I am wining

No I am getting lovable

Oh the word.

I wish I wasn’t here.

Mother is going to kill me,

No, hang me by the toe.

This is filth

Lovable, irresistible, persistent, brave filth:

A man I could I could love.

“Yes I can see that

You love me but

You despise that which

I am

What difference does that make

Am I not a man!

Yes, is he not a man

Why should I care what my parents say:

To hell with friends


“friends can’t give you what I can

If… dare not say

But love is better than that which money

Might offer

For it remedies wounds.

Money can only make life a bit bearable,

That is all it can do”

He is a man!

He is Gold and he is right.

A man like this is hard to find

I am Connered.

Such words I have never encountered.

Such character I have never seen.

A brave kind of filth,

Speaking right into my heart:

Not my clothing,

Not my body.


But to my heart, my fragile hopeless and pride but broken wreck of a heart.

Building it as he speaks

Feeling me without touch

He sees me

And I him.

I am confused.

She is out of her shell.

She better remember how to breath

I love her eyes

I hope the hope I see in her is mine.


My heart,

It is pounding

I am sweaty

My heart is softening

My body is betraying me

I am sweating all over

What am I to do

I hate this man

Why must I love him

Why must he love me

He is filth

He is nothing

Look at him!

Boy am I in for a treat.

This is beautiful, lovely

I must have been in for this a long time ago;

She loves me!

Stupid man

Why can you not see the problems

You touched my heart

I love you, you filth

Now move my soul.


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