Truth be told: I seem feel something a great deal different about me. I have been single and putting it off for a very long long time. Ever since my early teen years to be exact…but now, all of a sudden it has begun to feel look actualy taste different this life of mine. You see,being twenty five and still single is quet interesting. Unfortunately it at times starts to realy show them personal social scales tipping more on the minus side of single than it does on the plus side of them.
Sorry bum me such things such as putting your love life on hold for such a long time does at times bring more harm than it does good. I am lonely. And sorry love staved me it is now begining to show right out in public. Dear God am I worried. I mean what twenty five hairy grown man does not know how to kiss. Let alone the other weired,horney goat wicked stuff my age mates do. I have scarcely planted simple well endearing forhead kiss on any lucky stud’s daughter…let alone the heavily fantacised French kiss. Dear me. I think I am well over bad luck when it comes to such things. And being Christian sure doesn’t help.
I do however hope Jehovah God will remember me and let me live a little. Do not get me wrong,serving Him is joy itself. It is just that sometimes we get so buisy we forget what else could be. Besides that I have a terrible scare when among girls. I never even manage to say hello at times and only statter and do all kinds of never so manly behaviors like weak knees right after she says hi to you too. Beyond that first step it becomes beyond me. I am always ever so amazed at girls who manage to stay ever so arrounnd me. I mean; why exactley do they manage to linger on. I have nothing to offer realy and the closest rich I think I might ever get is below a school teachers salary. And them blessed lady souls who can actualy try stand that animal are very much far in between. I dare not lie to myself dear. Even them popular songs paint the very same picture as is that which lingers ever so gloomy on horrid mind. We with out money are nothing but pests to them ladies…be they black white or bluewish brown.
All this given I dare not forget the major factor: we man are almost always too picky for our own good. I for one in particular am very particular on the kind of lady friend I am after. And believe me like any other self respecting (if not nascitc) man am very much after an every day version of woman’s fashion model. Chances are such a dream will eventualy come to pass in some degree but they rarely if ever seem to end well. Bee has a sting at the end of its rear…It uses it well when under attack so you better watch out my dear. Ironicaly my being cautious has cost me my good years.
It has been a while since I’ve felt alive the way I do today.I’m sure it has got something to do with my sister’s friend being here.She sure is a breath of fresh air compared to the mere existance state my life has been brought down to be here. I am quet sure though that she doesn’t feel the same way about me.
Enough with her.I had a strange dream today. I wonder if it is Jah’s way of telling me my brains are going back on track and therefore I’m going back to school next year-I sure hope so. I am back on track spiritualy.I needed the call back and I do believe it is for good this time around. Besides that. I am growing up and therefore need my mind and soul(flesh people) to be in synch with each other. That way I am sure to be a goode family leader and maybe soon enough rule even the world. The latter being nort that important though significangt in the human eye. I am not saying it isn’t nice, it is. It is just that at such an age such things are of no use to the human soul. The human condition is now so degenerate that even the thed youngesgt of minds dreams of nothing else but chaos and down right raw lust. I am not by any means or level the prophet of doom.It is simpley that the human condition as it was from the time of our father Adam to that of man today has quet frankly reached its expirery date.
Look around you …We all are degenerates of former human pinacle. All of us! Children are dying young-lucky sons of mothers,women are being raped and turned into punching bags every day at six o’clock,mothers and sons are killing each other for a couple of mere millions hard earned over years of slavery by dying,sorry un-attended husbands who lust after their own brother’s wives and daughters; young and old. It is not just South Africa, the whole damned human world is like this. We are a mess and them poor anomal souls are are pure sainty beings compared to who we have now become.
All given I am now bent on bettering my wreched soul and please Jah as best I can.
God help us.
Sent from Windows Mail
25 Nov 2013
Dear God Jehova
I am sorry I’ve been somewhat of a very bad child these past years. You see; our years are no longer the deceptively simple years our parrents used to have. Ours is down right hard time to live in. Even more so if you call yourself a Christian standing up for Jehova’s way of thought and government.
We are a lost generation. A people given to porn, war, politics, money and lust of the eye and flesh. We have chosen to rule ourselves so much that we each subcribe to no other rule but that of our own liking and much sort after pleasure.We are given over to letting the Devil’s system decide for us. We no longer lead these our haerts but instead are led by them to a doom we see but are rather too caught up in our evry day problems to avoid going into. My mother named me Gift. The name means much to me…It’s the purpose of my insignificant life itself: The means by which I can change not only my own world but also that of my people. Truth be told; we are a dying people and unfortunately the old folk seem to think that the road down to culture, traditons, customs and old norms is sure to be our salvation. The learned ones lean more on letting science and new age philosophy find the path needed for regeneration. They think soon enough we will adopt a social awareness to rival the current system and thus free us and man in general from this feeling of impending doom. Yeah, we might ignore it all we like but we all know it is right on its way this doom and we sure are set to collide right against it.
A good question would be; exactely what will one do when it finaly arrives? An even better one is: is what we are doing now enough to ensure we do not end up beieng rubished over something we well could have avoided right during the hey days of human history? Frankly I do think we are trying. The major trouble however,is that we doing so the wrongest most possible way. Some booze like tomorow will come over some other year we care not to know. Some fornicate so much our lives depend on their dirty soild lost miserable souls, some spill blood such that even the angels who have little to do to the stake(compared to Christ) are weeping their eyes out because of it. We have to even rape ogogo and two year old girls just for the fun of it my dear. We are a dead people walking:old Miss morality is right out by the full gabbish bin.
We’ve become so bad that I can not even afford to trust this my own mind. I wonder how you doing with that sharp eye of yours…believe me you I want little to do with it for I know your face is prone to leave this world the minute the harvesting is complete. I do hope and pray you decide against leaving me out. I am now strogly learning to do right for myself as per Christ’s perfect example. And by the way; thank you for waiting for me all these years. I am surely comming back this time.
Sent from Windows Mail
Being who Iam,I do not usualy do things because Im forced to…I like acting simply out of self initialisation.That is what life is for me.And that is what it should be for all of us.Unfortunately,it is not so.
Sometime earlier on last year(2011) I got myself into watching doctor Phils show(year,the buld one).30mins down the show there came a couple.One black, one white:lovely I said to my self..unaware of the absence of wedding rings on their fingures.A time latter,I laughed my lungs out,I learnt they werent married because even though black/white couples are by law provided with marriage rights,the marriage vestees did not officiate their wedding since,and I quote,such usualy brings the offsprings into a troubled existance.God!
What impunity! There so called Land of the brave and free is still battling with chains of slavery? I for one never thought such that such things-in such days as are today-are still there:chaining people to think and behave in such old mandane ways.Even in such high strung,sophisticated worlds as is the one in the United States of America!
In trueth wonders never cease.
Comming close to home…I asked myself once:would it be nice to get myself(or should I say me and the Miss) to get something different? Obviously,yes.But would it be wise?
In trueth..I think not.Idealy there shouldnt be much scurf of when one plays with this idea but since we have a not so nice history between the colours,it is a very troublesome cause for concern.
1.What will she say shoul I being black..approach her?
2.How exactly am I to approach.Is she to be madam or lucy the lovely girl next door I cant shake off my usualy dirty head?
3.What will the parrents think.Will I be a brother inlaw and is she to be friends with my people-a Makoti?
4.If so,how are we to live..free partnership or pyramidal?
4.Far will I assimilate into her culture..is she to assimilate mine e.t.c.?
By jove I hope I come not into such a predicament.I know full well the chains of colour based slavery is not yet a thing of the past..we still are controled both She and I.
The best yet to do is,to some level,conform with what our two not so diffent worlds dictate.
KwaZulu-Natal is a beutiful country(it’s actualy a province)
We have almost everything here.Including quite ladies.
You might be thinking that being modern times,the life of the average Natal girl is very much improved.Unfortunatetly,modernity only gave us more problems.And a large chunk of those problems directs itself to the girls here.Especialy those of Bantu decent.People here still have it in their heads that a ladys place is in the kitchen..to be frank I do myself.The Bantu still hold it that a woman without child is no woman at all,here life is such that if a girl child speaks strongly-she is more a man than shes woman.Therefore,a threat to man.No man is to wed a rich maiden,no woman is to be chief to her fathers tribe and no woman is to comand respect as much as do man.
If wed,the lady is not to hit the hell out of her wife if she is to be repected:man on ther hand punch bag their wifes,sisters and daughters every night.Some even denote it as a sign of love.We are a people given to belittling women.You could even say its in our nature.
Bull@?!>*#®!!! There is no such thing.We must change.The system must change.Woman are ouselves.We are woman.They were taken from us-and we from them.How then are we so given to bag punching them,side-slaping them,snarling at them,force entering them and even strangling them to the death-both of ourselves and of theirs.If we are to be in this state for a time-we are to be soon an extict people.
Already,women folk are not given into trusting man.Soon there wont be any love for us.For we would be beasts to them.The load is too much.
We man must do away with the lion in us and embrance the cuddley bear.
It is time I reclaim the dreams and
aspirations I have forgone,
It seems my hardships are now
Simpley being taken away
The vision is still there.
The wish is still there
And my heart:
My dear fragile haert.
And beats in still crys
In sync with that painstaking inner cry
Of that voice
I know not from wherence it comes.
But still dear Jah
I must listen to.
There is no other choice!
It is finally mine own time.
I have always thoght it an easier feat being a girl…Poor me:D
Two days ago a lady friend of mine came by my house for a nice long anticipated visit (lucky bastard I here you say:-]) I have been asking for for over two to three years..god how nice.
I am quite sure you have, by now gotten right into the obvious answer..I do not know of what an American friend would think but on account of my highly learned but un-acultured friend,who is Zulu there would only be two in sourced out comes to this kind of arrangement, given she-my lady friend,would have disappeared into my so leaning house. 1. I would have lost a friend and 2. would gained one very beautiful, mouth watering and very much needed girlfriend. Sorry ladies but you are mouth watering sometimes.
Fortunately non of them above thingys took place..some people are not that dirty.
One question though, what would we be saying would Gift and his friend had disappeared into the house,stayed there for 2 to 3hrs and walked out happy and holding hands? The answer is simple..we would speculated, concluded and extrapolated loads of trueths and full lies about what occured and happened and (most important) to whom by who.
Boy do we have math theorist out there. And guese who is most likely to get all the ticks and all them bad crosses-my lady friend. For the act of enrering a boys house, all these questions and answers in relation to a girls personality are drawn. She sudenly is given all them negatives. She is a whore, a she-dog,lose canon,prostitute and man eater.
God do we toture them poor ladies.
In a class of 50 South African girls, 70% of all those floewers fracle and die becuse we crush them out. We rape,belittle,shame and batter them down to dust,
Who are we realy.
Sadists,rapists and moster canibals?
If we be non of these things then who are we realy…Singo bani?
I ask this becuase such things as we, we human do are simply unknown to animals. You will never find an animal rape another. You will never see an animal bating another for the others refute to sex. Yet we human do it. Relantlessly.
We abuse girls so much that I have begun to wish I were a part of the abused sex.
To my mothers,daughters,sisters,girlfriends and lady friends..You strong ladies…But you do have to be donkeys.Not any more.[IMGRIGHT=http://files.myopera.com/Goose1/blog/005.jpg]